Home
As I sit and watch an afternoon talk show, I feel the anger well up inside of me. The ladies are lined up on stage with one common goal in life. They suddenly want back the children that they gave away many years ago. I'm not saying that the decision to give their children away was a bad one. As a matter of fact it was probably the best thing for all parties involved. If these women made that decision earlier in life, what would make them think that all of a sudden something has changed, that they are now ready to be parents or that they could do a better job than the people they entrusted the baby to in the first place?
People often ask me what I would do if my "real" mother was to come into my life. First of all, I would tell them that I am with my real mother. It is not an act but a lifestyle that makes a woman a mother. Just because I did not come out of my mother's womb, doesn't mean that her love and devotion in my life is any less valuable than that of a woman who held her baby in her womb before holding it in her arms. Secondly I would tell those who ask that I would be very angry at my biological "mother" if she were to try to re-enter my life. It would be nothing but an act of pure selfishness. I know, as a woman, it would be impossible to give birth to a child and be anything less than a mother to it while being involved in it's life. I have no anger toward her for giving me up for adoption. It was definitely the best thing she could have done for me.
Maybe one reason I feel so secure in my family is that I have known my whole life that I was adopted. One of my favorite stories as a young girl was one my daddy used to tell me before going to sleep at night. It was the the story of a young couple who wanted children so badly that they set out looking for a child to love. After hearing the story of the search, discovery, and life-long love, my father would ask if I knew who the baby was. He would hold me in his arms and say, "It was you." The story continued to develop as my parents adopted three more children and the six of us grew into a family full of love. Being from a family of adoption, we were asked a lot of questions. I always told those who asked that I had no desire to seek out the people who gave me life (my biological "parents"). The people who taught me life (my true parents) were all I could ever ask for and more. Their support and love in every area of my life has been and continues to be incredibly unselfish. How could I ever ask for more? I am not saying that I have had a fairytale, perfect life. Who does? But with devotion, love, and a strong faith in God, we always made it through. I know that whatever comes my way, my family will stand beside me. It is a life-time decision to become a parent. There is no such thing as a part-time parent. One does not just birth a child, take twenty some years off while letting some one else raise it, to come back and say "OK, I'm ready to be a parent now." That is not the way it works. I guess what I am trying to say is, "Women, don't you think that you have suffered enough by trying to hold on all these years to something that is not yours? You made the right decision. Be confident in yourself and go on with your life. We have.
Email Page to a Friend | Feedback | Adoption | Adoption Wiki | Parent Profiles | Infertility | Adoption Information
© Adopting.org 1995-2010. This site should not substitute personal professional, legal, or medical advice. The accuracy and personal applicability of this information is not guaranteed. By using it you agree to the terms of service, including jurisdiction and limitation of liability provisions.
