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Transcript of Special Needs Chat... March 29, 2000
from Washington, DC
PRE-CHAT {There was some confusion about what time the chat started so some were early
FORMAL CHAT is partway down the page}
03/29/00 16:15:38 <Guest28> hello
03/29/00 17:02:32 <graham> hi
03/29/00 17:18:43 <mar2> Can you please explain the Map Training course
03/29/00 17:20:04 <mar2> Does that cover the different types of special needs?
03/29/00 17:20:10 <Guest15> hello
03/29/00 17:20:20 <mar2> Hi!
03/29/00 17:20:34 <Guest15> What time does the chat start?
03/29/00 17:20:58 <mar2> It started at 7:00 my time...I think!
03/29/00 17:21:19 <Guest15> I am on the west coast
03/29/00 17:21:40 <mar2> I'm midwest...Kansas
03/29/00 17:22:00 <Guest15> So that chat hasn't started the yet
03/29/00 17:22:08 <Guest15> then
03/29/00 17:22:31 <mar2> ? I am brand new to all of this!
03/29/00 17:22:40 <Guest15> I am too
03/29/00 17:22:53 <mar2> I got a message in my E mail and I'll check the time ...be right back
03/29/00 17:22:57 <Guest15> We are looking to adopt a special needs child
03/29/00 17:23:55 <mar2> Hmmm...what is Pacific time?
03/29/00 17:24:18 <mar2> My message said 7:00 Pacific time
03/29/00 17:24:38 <mar2> guess that's not now!
03/29/00 17:25:46 <mar2> We are looking into a special needs little girl.
03/29/00 17:26:11 <mar2> Have you begun your training? Is that required by you?
03/29/00 17:26:29 <mar2> I mean by your state?
03/29/00 17:26:38 <Guest15> We are in Nevada
03/29/00 17:26:52 <Guest15> Yes , we have to have a home study done
03/29/00 17:27:03 <Guest15> We also want a little girl
03/29/00 17:27:31 <mar2> Our state requires a 10 week training course, before we can have our homestudy!
03/29/00 17:27:46 <Guest15> we have to got to some briefing classes
03/29/00 17:28:01 <Guest15> what kind of special needs do u want
03/29/00 17:28:56 <mar2> Well, we have 2 boys already and want one with out too many physical probs.
03/29/00 17:28:59 <Guest15> We want a bi-racial or transracial child in our state that is considered special needs.
03/29/00 17:29:06 <Guest15> i have 3 boys
03/29/00 17:29:21 <Guest15> My hubby does not have any children of his own
03/29/00 17:29:45 <Guest15> The boys are ours by my first marriage
03/29/00 17:30:23 <mar2> I have a very tough in-law family, and we still don't know how to approach them on this adoption !
03/29/00 17:30:52 <Guest15> wow my family and his are so supportive
03/29/00 17:31:07 <Guest15> my hubby was also adopted
03/29/00 17:31:27 <mar2> I would consider a bi-racial. We don't have a problem with that , but we have to consider the rest of the "family"
03/29/00 17:32:03 <Guest15> my kids are caucasian like me and my hubby is biracial
03/29/00 17:32:35 <Guest15> We actually don't care what race it is but would prefer biracial
03/29/00 17:32:36 <mar2> We can't have anymore kids cuz of me....pre-cancer...emerg. hyst....only 27.
03/29/00 17:32:46 <Guest15> same as me
03/29/00 17:32:49 <Guest15> i was 27
03/29/00 17:32:57 <Guest15> with uterine cancer
03/29/00 17:33:27 <mar2> Wow! Mine too, only it was spreading into my ovaries!
03/29/00 17:33:45 <Guest15> But the lord blessed me with 3
03/29/00 17:34:08 <Guest15> So now i would likek to adopt a little girl
03/29/00 17:34:34 <mar2> Yea, I thank the Lord for my 2. I was invited to Haiti on a mission trip to an orphanage, but we don' t have alot of $!
03/29/00 17:34:38 <Guest15> Wondering what time pacific time is
03/29/00 17:35:03 <Guest15> Me either we are not rich by no means but we can provide
03/29/00 17:35:33 <Guest15> My hubby is a police and i am a vet tech
03/29/00 17:36:09 <mar2> Well, the Lord provides all we'll need and I know if it's His will, there will be a little girl out there for each of us!
03/29/00 17:36:23 <Guest15> Thats so true
03/29/00 17:36:33 <mar2> I don't work, I home school my boys, my husband is a carpenter.
03/29/00 17:36:39 <Guest15> thank the Lord each day
03/29/00 17:36:52 <mar2> I DO!
03/29/00 17:37:03 <Guest15> Oopps forget the I
03/29/00 17:37:20 <mar2> Hi Taz, do YOU know what time this starts?
03/29/00 17:37:45 <Guest15> going to go look and see if aol shows the time zones
03/29/00 17:38:26 <Guest15> I also homeschool
03/29/00 17:38:42 <Guest15> with help from my mom
03/29/00 17:39:01 <Guest15> I use rod and staff
03/29/00 17:39:10 <Guest15> and some other books also
03/29/00 17:40:30 <mar2> We live out in the country ...no neighbors...cows...but no neighbors for over a mile!
03/29/00 17:40:36 <Guest15> What books do you use
03/29/00 17:40:50 <mar2> I'm on Yahoo instant messanger?
03/29/00 17:40:55 <Guest15> Sound like my hubbys home state
03/29/00 17:40:59 <mar2> We use Rod and staff
03/29/00 17:41:02 <Guest15> he's from Ohio
03/29/00 17:41:04 <Guest15> me too
03/29/00 17:41:10 <Guest15> i love rod and staff
03/29/00 17:41:38 <Guest15> they still have ahmish people there in there horse and buggy
03/29/00 17:41:58 <mar2> We are originally from Wisconsin, moved here last June...no bills, paid cash for the home and
03/29/00 17:42:05 <Guest15> My name is mary
03/29/00 17:42:20 <mar2> put it on mom and dads property, so no rent either!
03/29/00 17:42:29 <Guest15> Thats so nice
03/29/00 17:42:39 <Guest15> our house payment is 1052
03/29/00 17:42:45 <Guest15> a month
03/29/00 17:42:45 <mar2> I'm Margie
03/29/00 17:42:50 <mar2> yikes!
03/29/00 17:43:02 <Guest15> Vegas is very expensive
03/29/00 17:43:51 <mar2> I bet! Never been there, heard it floods alot!
03/29/00 17:44:00 <Guest15> Yes it does
03/29/00 17:44:22 <mar2> We just downsized...we had a tri-level home in Wi.
03/29/00 17:44:42 <mar2> We decided to become debt free and "owe no man nothing"
03/29/00 17:44:48 <Guest15> I am thinking that 1000pm pacific is 700 our time
03/29/00 17:44:57 <Guest15> i have a 2 story
03/29/00 17:45:07 <Guest15> i would love to be debt free
03/29/00 17:45:20 <mar2> We thought we might become missionaries, so we sold almost all we had and moved here
03/29/00 17:45:35 <Guest15> Thats is so neat
03/29/00 17:45:42 <mar2> And I LOVE it! I wouldn't trade it for anything!
03/29/00 17:46:07 <mar2> Now I have goats...speaking of I have to milk in 15 mins!
03/29/00 17:46:13 <Guest15> You never know what the Lord has in store
03/29/00 17:46:24 <Guest15> you still might become missionaries
03/29/00 17:46:46 <mar2> Imagine going from the middle of a 10,000 population down to 500!!!
03/29/00 17:46:50 <Guest15> its about 545 here what time is it there
03/29/00 17:47:02 <mar2> I know! We just wait on him.
03/29/00 17:47:03 <Guest15> We are over 1 million
03/29/00 17:47:08 <mar2> It's 7:45
03/29/00 17:47:15 <Guest15> sometimes i would like the quiet life
03/29/00 17:47:28 <mar2> I don't think I'd like to raise my kids in that!
03/29/00 17:47:37 <Guest15> Its hard
03/29/00 17:47:53 <Guest15> and thats why i deciced on homeschooling
03/29/00 17:48:04 <Guest15> Then i know what my kids are being taught
03/29/00 17:48:11 <mar2> We have a welsh pony and 2 mama goats, 2 kids and more next week!
03/29/00 17:48:18 <Guest15> and they get also bible
03/29/00 17:48:31 <Guest15> wow that neat i just have 2 dogs 3 cats and 3 fish
03/29/00 17:48:32 <mar2> That's the most important!
03/29/00 17:48:48 <mar2> do you attend a local church?
03/29/00 17:48:58 <Guest15> If i lived in the country i would have it all
03/29/00 17:49:02 <Guest15> Yes
03/29/00 17:49:13 <Guest15> I go to a baptist one
03/29/00 17:49:25 <mar2> We have 6(?) cats, 3 dogs, and a beaver out in the pond!
03/29/00 17:49:37 <mar2> Us too!
03/29/00 17:49:53 <mar2> Our congregation is around 50!
03/29/00 17:50:03 <Guest15> If my hubby would allow me more animals i would
03/29/00 17:50:07 <mar2> Our old church ran around 200.
03/29/00 17:50:11 <Guest15> ours is about 200
03/29/00 17:50:40 <Guest15> Well i think i will go cook for my children and check back in about 30to 45 minutes
03/29/00 17:50:43 <mar2> I was a teacher in our Church School...A.C.E.
03/29/00 17:50:54 <Guest15> See if the chat has started
03/29/00 17:53:24 <Guest15> well take care and god bless i will be back soon
03/29/00 17:53:25 <mar2> okay. I have to get out and milk and feed the horse. If i can I'll come back. Nice to meet you!
03/29/00 17:53:40 <Guest15> It was nice meeting you also
03/29/00 17:54:18 <Taz> are you searching?
03/29/00 17:54:44 <mar2> Yea, but we've been on for an hour and don't know what Pacific time is!
03/29/00 17:54:50 <mar2> hahah!
03/29/00 17:55:00 <mar2> It said 7 Pacific
03/29/00 17:55:10 <mar2> when's that?
03/29/00 17:55:10 <Taz> I am trying to adopt #2
03/29/00 17:55:19 <Taz> what coast are you on
03/29/00 17:55:30 <mar2> Midwest-Kansas
03/29/00 17:55:36 <Taz> Pacific time is California, west coast
03/29/00 17:55:50 <mar2> It's almost 8 here.
03/29/00 17:56:02 <Taz> you are an hr ahead of calif
03/29/00 17:56:46 <mar2> O.K. Well, I have to milk my goats! I'll check in later! Bye
03/29/00 17:56:52 <Taz> bye
03/29/00 18:02:49 <Robin10> hi guest
03/29/00 18:03:13 <Guest4> Hi has Graham's chat started yet
03/29/00 18:03:25 <Robin10> not that i know of. That is what I am waiting on.
03/29/00 18:04:04 <Robin10> I believe this is the chat area that Graham will be speaking in. probably running late
03/29/00 18:04:04 <Guest4> I'm in Texas and I always miss it
03/29/00 18:04:28 <Robin10> i moved from Texas a bit over a year ago
03/29/00 18:04:46 <Guest4> Really! Are you adopting
03/29/00 18:05:07 <Robin10> i think my quiver will be full. we will be adopting our 11th next week
03/29/00 18:05:23 <Guest4> Oh my goodness!!
03/29/00 18:05:55 <Robin10> we adopted a sib group of 4 from texas in dec 99 and their birthmom had a baby so we get her too
03/29/00 18:06:07 <Guest4> I just want to adopt one. I'm single. I live in Houston.
03/29/00 18:06:37 <Robin10> The more open you can be to things, the quicker you will get a placement
03/29/00 18:06:47 <Robin10> Are you trying to adopt through the state/
03/29/00 18:06:55 <Guest4> You mean special needs?
03/29/00 18:07:03 <Robin10> yes
03/29/00 18:07:23 <Guest4> Did you use the state
03/29/00 18:07:30 <Robin10> yes
03/29/00 18:07:39 <Guest4> So am I
03/29/00 18:07:43 <Robin10> our kids came to us at ages 1, 2, 3, and 4 years old
03/29/00 18:08:02 <Robin10> how long have you been trying to adopt?
03/29/00 18:08:07 <Guest4> Girls? Boys?
03/29/00 18:08:14 <Robin10> 2 of each
03/29/00 18:08:47 <Guest4> I finished class last year. I get my first visit next week
03/29/00 18:09:07 <Robin10> for the homestudy?
03/29/00 18:09:25 <Robin10> hi mindy
03/29/00 18:09:36 <mindy> hello
03/29/00 18:09:43 <Guest4> Yes. The state lost alot of workers at the beginning of the year and this held everything up
03/29/00 18:16:12 <Momof13> so where is the host?
03/29/00 18:16:33 <Robin11> in washington DC
03/29/00 18:19:31 <Mar2> Is the Attorney here?
03/29/00 18:19:41 <Robin11> no, mar2. we are just passing time
03/29/00 18:20:10 <Mar2> Ya all need to move down here where its warm!
03/29/00 18:20:13 <Robin11> i am ready for a beach
03/29/00 18:20:20 <Robin11> where are you?
03/29/00 18:20:30 <Mar2> Well, no beach here just cows and wheat!
03/29/00 18:20:40 <Mar2> Kansas!
03/29/00 18:20:51 <Robin11> i am in AR.
03/29/00 18:21:00 <Robin11> wheres my map?
03/29/00 18:21:15 <Mar2> Just came back...was chating earlier with Guest15
03/29/00 18:21:22 <Momof13> probably packed it with the winter clothes
03/29/00 18:21:38 <Mar2> We couldn't figure out what Pacific time was!
03/29/00 18:21:38 <Robin11> disaster. BRB
03/29/00 18:21:46 <denise> hello
03/29/00 18:21:56 <Mar2> Hi denise!
03/29/00 18:22:05 <denise> how is everyone?
03/29/00 18:22:16 <Mar2> Waiting...!
03/29/00 18:22:28 <denise> waiting?
03/29/00 18:23:03 <Mar2> No Attorney..
03/29/00 18:23:36 <Mar2> Does anyone out there know what a Map training is?
03/29/00 18:23:58 <Robin11> its 30 hours of training to be a parents
03/29/00 18:24:13 <Mar2> All I know is it is a 10 week course here.
03/29/00 18:24:14 <Momof13> It's actually MAPP isn't it?
03/29/00 18:24:18 <Robin11> yes
03/29/00 18:24:22 <Mar2> ?
03/29/00 18:24:33 <Mar2> What 's it stand for?
03/29/00 18:24:34 <Robin11> model approach to something something it stands for
03/29/00 18:24:46 * LJ Is it required?
03/29/00 18:25:03 <Mar2> Hmmm...does it teach you about certain special needs?
03/29/00 18:25:11 <Momof13> depends where you are adopting from
03/29/00 18:25:11 <Robin11> i think in alot of states it is required.
03/29/00 18:25:25 <Robin11> they call it different things in different states also.
03/29/00 18:25:57 <Mar2> All i know is we have 10 weeks of that before they will do our homestudy!
03/29/00 18:25:57 <Robin11> it teaches you about alot of things. It helped us to visualize what the kids go through
03/29/00 18:26:20 <Robin11> we did our classes on Saturdays and it took about 4 weeks, if memory serves me right
03/29/00 18:26:32 <Momof13> your memory?
03/29/00 18:26:38 <Momof13> scary
03/29/00 18:26:41 <Mar2> That seems like an awful long time!
03/29/00 18:26:55 <Mar2> (The 10 weeks I mean)
03/29/00 18:27:11 <Robin11> ask them if they have them on saturdays
03/29/00 18:27:19 <Robin11> are you in Texas, mar?
03/29/00 18:27:28 <Robin11> you were the one in kansas
03/29/00 18:27:31 <Robin11> duh
03/29/00 18:27:40 <Robin11> LOL
03/29/00 18:27:44 <Mar2> We live in KS and they move r e a l s l o w down here!
03/29/00 18:28:21 <Mar2> If we choose to adopt out of state do we go by KS law or the state the child is in?
03/29/00 18:28:56 <Mar2> any takers?
03/29/00 18:29:09 <Robin11> i think we followed both states laws
03/29/00 18:29:31 <Mar2> Oh, that must be even more confusing!
03/29/00 18:29:32 <Momof13> if you finalize in your home state then you follow your state laws
03/29/00 18:30:02 <Robin11> we didn't have a choice if we could finalize in our state
03/29/00 18:30:06 <Momof13> if you finalize in the state of placement then follow theirs
03/29/00 18:30:19 <Momof13> depends if it's a state placement or agency
03/29/00 18:30:25 <Mar2> All I know is we want a little girl, not a baby, and we didn't think it would be so hard!
03/29/00 18:30:37 <Robin11> what race?
03/29/00 18:31:20 <Robin11> do you want to go through the state to get a child?
03/29/00 18:31:48 <Mar2> Well, we'd consider a Bi-racial, or Asian, or white but, whatever the Lord wants will be okay.
03/29/00 18:32:01 <Robin11> do you just want one or a sib group?
03/29/00 18:32:15 <Mar2> Yes, I understand the fees are much lower to go thru the state,
03/29/00 18:32:27 <Mar2> Just one...
03/29/00 18:32:30 <Momof13> you don't want an infant?
03/29/00 18:32:36 <Mar2> we have 2 boys already.
03/29/00 18:32:43 <Robin11> hi guest
03/29/00 18:32:53 <Mar2> No..Been there ...done that!
03/29/00 18:33:16 <Momof13> have you looked on the photolistings?
03/29/00 18:33:41 <Mar2> Haha, we had 2 of our own kids, and there are enough older kids that need homes!
03/29/00 18:34:47 <Robin11> we know about that : )
03/29/00 18:34:50 <Mar2> yes, and we were even invited to an orphanage in Haiti from "In His Sight", but we want one from the US
03/29/00 18:35:04 <Guest22> hello
03/29/00 18:35:08 <Mar2> We can't afford an international adoption.
03/29/00 18:37:36 <Mar2> Here's my other question...Who determines these kids are ADHD? And once you get them, are you required by law to keep them on Ritalin?
03/29/00 18:38:16 <Momof13> after finalization you can do whatever you feel is best for the child
03/29/00 18:38:38 <Mar2> Is that how these subsidy programs work?
03/29/00 18:38:41 <Momof13> in the 'limbo' period you would have to have a doctor concur that removing the meds were best
03/29/00 18:39:45 <Guest22> does this chat start at 9:00 central?
03/29/00 18:39:53 <Mar2> I mean what child that is abused, neglected, abandon, etc. NOT going to be depressed and have some sort of behavior problems?
03/29/00 18:39:53 <Robin11> i thought 8
03/29/00 18:40:02 <Robin11> exactly, mar
03/29/00 18:40:25 <Guest22> says 10:00 eastern Robin
03/29/00 18:40:52 <Mar2> But, once they are in a "normal" family setting, wouldn't their problems begin to straighten out?
03/29/00 18:41:01 <Robin11> it helps them alot, mar
03/29/00 18:41:08 <Momof13> depends on the problems
03/29/00 18:41:08 <Mar2> And if so, then would the subsidy stop?
03/29/00 18:41:23 <Robin11> so we are early??
03/29/00 18:41:27 <Momof13> I don't think the problems ever totally disappear
03/29/00 18:41:28 <Guest22> yep
03/29/00 18:41:32 <Robin11> i could have done more laundry
03/29/00 18:41:37 <Robin11> oh well
03/29/00 18:41:40 <Mar2> Where does this money come from?
03/29/00 18:41:45 <Guest22> i was just trying to see if i could find'
03/29/00 18:41:56 <Guest22> so do you have number 11 Robin???
03/29/00 18:42:07 <Momof13> when we entered it said this was the chat hosted by blah blah blah....I don't think we are early
03/29/00 18:42:07 <Robin11> next tuesday we hope
03/29/00 18:42:37 <Robin11> i told our SW I was free next tuesday :)
03/29/00 18:42:43 <Guest22> mine said hosted by Graham at 10: eastern
03/29/00 18:42:46 <Mar2> Mine said 7:00 pacific time
03/29/00 18:42:47 <Robin11> the subsidy doesn't end till they are 18
03/29/00 18:43:48 <Robin11> hi graham
03/29/00 18:43:52 <Guest22> you guys have too many kids. lol
03/29/00 18:43:58 <Mar2> Hi Graham!
03/29/00 18:44:13 <Robin11> i will have the perfect amount next week
03/29/00 18:44:16 <Graham> What's up you guys - its not 10 in DC yet!
03/29/00 18:44:24 <Momof13> LOL we can't tell time
03/29/00 18:44:32 <Guest22> i tried to tell them that Graham
03/29/00 18:44:46 <Robin11> i didn't want to do laundry so here i sit
03/29/00 18:44:49 <Momof13> so why are you here 22? just seeing if we were early?
03/29/00 18:44:58 <Guest22> yep
03/29/00 18:45:15 <Momof13> Robin forced me to come early....now I have dirty kids
03/29/00 18:45:18 <Graham> It's very late on the right coast - on the left coast its still light out...
03/29/00 18:45:21 <Robin11> lol
03/29/00 18:45:57 <Momof13> I am not on the coast
03/29/00 18:46:01 <Momof13> see, that's a problem
03/29/00 18:46:26 <Mar2> Me neither! How come i came at 7 ? a
03/29/00 18:46:34 <Mar2> and now its almost 9!
03/29/00 18:46:39 <Momof13> Mar, it was Robin's fault
03/29/00 18:46:56 <Robin11> i am always being blamed. oh woe is me
03/29/00 18:47:01 <Robin11> its really guest 22 fault
03/29/00 18:47:04 <Mar2> OK... Robin, I have 2 boys I can ship your way!
03/29/00 18:47:11 <Robin11> she knows i am blonde
FORMAL CHAT TRANSCRIPT
03/29/00 18:47:15 <Graham> OK, Helen is here and is willing to start early. We'll do this again at 10, but ----role call.....who/where/what...GO
03/29/00 18:47:51 <Momof13> is this a test?
03/29/00 18:47:52 * Graham (Plays Sound: moo.wav) moo
03/29/00 18:48:15 <Graham> yes
03/29/00 18:48:40 <Robin11> i have 10, almost 11 kids. 7 adopted
03/29/00 18:48:56 <Momof13> never was good at tests....I have 13 children, all adopted
03/29/00 18:49:01 <Guest22> Caroline/Mississippi....2 adopted kids. just listening. :)
03/29/00 18:49:02 <Mar2> You go girl!
03/29/00 18:49:34 <Graham> Hi Robin - I'm Helen I have 4 kids, and avoid doing laundry too.
03/29/00 18:49:43 <Robin11> lol
03/29/00 18:49:53 <Momof13> I avoided giving baths
03/29/00 18:50:11 <Mar2> I am brand new at this, 2 boys-mine, want one adopted girl
03/29/00 18:50:11 <Graham> Who is receiving AAP?
03/29/00 18:50:33 <Mar2> What's that?
03/29/00 18:50:37 <Momof13> I am on two newly adopted children...fighting for subs on three others :(
03/29/00 18:50:55 <Robin11> I am renegotiating subsidies on my 4 new children. I want to know if I can receive subs on 2 older girls i adopted without using an agency
03/29/00 18:50:56 <Graham> correction - Adoption subsidy
03/29/00 18:51:11 <Mar2> Thanks!
03/29/00 18:52:13 <Robin11> guess they thought we were helpless
03/29/00 18:52:18 <Mar2> Guess we were too much!
03/29/00 18:52:22 <Guest22> gee Robin, you scared Graham away
03/29/00 18:52:26 <Momof13> sounds normal to me
03/29/00 18:52:36 <Robin11> oh boy, what a nite
03/29/00 18:52:43 <Guest22> Robin have the two girls been finalized yet?
03/29/00 18:52:46 <Mar2> Musta needed a BIG Book to figure out that one!
03/29/00 18:52:48 <Momof13> figured we can't tell time...must be real problems
03/29/00 18:52:58 <Momof13> welcome back :)
03/29/00 18:53:12 <Graham> whoops-Helen's havibg to deal with me!
03/29/00 18:53:56 <Graham> Robin - where did you adopt the children from?
03/29/00 18:53:57 <Robin11> caroline, put on your ICQ
03/29/00 18:54:34 <Robin11> i adopted my two girls from california. i was living in Texas at the time and we used a facilitator. now we know of all the needs the girls have
03/29/00 18:55:10 <Robin11> they are not finalized
03/29/00 18:55:27 <Robin11> they have met all the requirements except the agency part
03/29/00 18:55:39 <Robin11> for receiving subsidies
03/29/00 18:55:42 <Graham> Facilitators are unregulated. However, tell me more about the girls, what was their birth story & age at placement
03/29/00 18:56:14 <Robin11> crack, booze in utero. lived with relatives and two other adoptive placements that disrupted
03/29/00 18:56:14 <Graham> What county did the girls come from?
03/29/00 18:56:16 <Mar2> Where does a subsidy come from?
03/29/00 18:56:23 <Robin11> butte
03/29/00 18:56:49 <Momof13> how old were they robin?
03/29/00 18:56:56 <Robin11> 6 and 7
03/29/00 18:56:58 <Robin11> years
03/29/00 18:57:34 <Graham> If they were in adoptive placement, it sounds like they were dependents? Do you know?
03/29/00 18:58:10 <Robin11> i am not sure what you mean by that. But i do know that while in one of the homes the a parents to be received some kind of payment from the state
03/29/00 18:59:08 <Guest88> Hello all
03/29/00 18:59:13 <Robin11> the grandmother received AFDC while raising them too
03/29/00 18:59:15 <Robin11> hi guest
03/29/00 19:00:05 <Graham> Robin-Since the girls are pre-finalization you still have a very good chance to hook the girls up with subsidy. Lets work through eligibility - age, sib.s, race, birth history please?
03/29/00 19:01:06 <Robin11> they meet all the requirements. they were 6 and 7 years old. sib group of 2, hispanic/cauc and born to a birthmom who did drugs and drank
03/29/00 19:02:00 <Robin11> they are FAE, learning disabilites
03/29/00 19:02:08 <Robin11> low IQs
03/29/00 19:02:38 <Robin11> hi elaina
03/29/00 19:02:57 <Graham> Good- the children meet the requirements in California by virtue of over age three, sibling set, adverse parental background. Now lets look at the connection to a public agency.
03/29/00 19:03:36 <Graham> What did the faciliator tell you?
03/29/00 19:03:42 <Robin11> their case was closed in 97 says the public agency
03/29/00 19:04:22 <Robin11> the facilitator was a joke. didn't tell me a thing. after placement i scrounged all over california for their medical records
03/29/00 19:04:22 <Graham> Who gave the children to the faciliator?
03/29/00 19:04:33 <Robin11> the aunt
03/29/00 19:04:41 <Robin11> and grandma
03/29/00 19:05:01 <Guest8> i have twins, 5 yrs, private agency adoptn, 1 has fas, other not diagnosed, calif, just found out bout aap
03/29/00 19:05:12 <Guest90> Are there adoption subsidies available. We want to adopt a child but can not afford the high cost of agencies, etc.
03/29/00 19:05:31 <Mar2> Ditto!
03/29/00 19:05:50 <cherub4032> We are trying to adopt now and I can't find anyone who is willing to help us with the finances either
03/29/00 19:06:09 <Graham> Robin: DON"T FINALIZE YET! I think you can get subsidy. Call me at 1-800-AAP-8044
03/29/00 19:06:30 <cherub4032> there is a place to get a grant but I was told it is very rare they give it and it doesnt cover hardly anything
03/29/00 19:06:49 <Robin11> what are your business hours? and do i ask for helen?
03/29/00 19:06:50 <Graham> Guest 8: Which agency did you adopt from?
03/29/00 19:07:08 <cherub4032> we are using AAI
03/29/00 19:07:26 <Guest8> what is AAI
03/29/00 19:07:48 <Graham> Robin 11: 8 -1:30 M-F (Pacific) or leave a message - ask for Helen or Kathy
03/29/00 19:07:56 <Mar2> We are going to our church for assistance, and some employers will help...if you are brave enough to ask for it!
03/29/00 19:08:27 <Robin11> thanks so much. I will be calling
03/29/00 19:08:53 <Elaina> Don't most states have some form of assistance available for special needs children?
03/29/00 19:08:55 <Guest137> Hi! I need advise about a subsidy we didn't receive at time of adoption of our special needs daughter.
03/29/00 19:09:00 <Graham> Hi all ----Break - This is Graham. Helen is here and will answer two threads at a time using my name, 'cos we're using the same machine in DC. Back to Helen...
03/29/00 19:09:01 <Momof13> can you apply for subsidies yourself or do you have to use the agency of placement?>
03/29/00 19:09:16 <cherub4032> Adoptions Advocate International
03/29/00 19:09:29 <Guest8> is there any directions for adoptive parents to follow, to help know what to do to help our kids?
03/29/00 19:09:58 <Guest90> Is Adoption Adovacate International an adoption agency?
03/29/00 19:10:05 <cherub4032> yes it is
03/29/00 19:10:14 <Guest90> Is it expensive?
03/29/00 19:10:19 <Guest137> We finally have subsidy in place now but all the years withoug has caused so much financial hardship.
03/29/00 19:10:23 <Graham> 8Elaina: all states have subsidy
03/29/00 19:10:34 <cherub4032> we are using them to adopt we have a friend that used them if you compare to others it really isn't
03/29/00 19:10:48 <Graham> 137: where did you adopt from?
03/29/00 19:11:02 <Guest90> We would like to adopt a child but do not have the $$ it will colst to go through an agency.
03/29/00 19:11:06 <Guest137> From our county agency in Minnesota
03/29/00 19:11:17 <Graham> Mom13: you have to apply with the PUBLIC agency yourself - which state?
03/29/00 19:11:32 <cherub4032> approx. $15,000 but the first one I looked into was $21,000 the other one was $18,000
03/29/00 19:11:41 <cherub4032> we don't have the money either
03/29/00 19:11:47 <cherub4032> yet
03/29/00 19:11:50 <Guest90> The state would not take our application because we want a child three or younger and there are too many children that are older than three that need homes
03/29/00 19:12:11 <Robin11> guest 90, send your homestudy out to other states yourself
03/29/00 19:12:11 <Guest90> How does one get $20,000 for adoption
03/29/00 19:12:16 <Guest137> What about retro subsidy?
03/29/00 19:12:16 <Graham> 8: Sierra Adoption Services sells my book ($25.00) or NACAC sells a national book
03/29/00 19:12:22 <cherub4032> we tried in the states first and they said it could be years before we got a baby
03/29/00 19:12:43 <cherub4032> we will be going to China now
03/29/00 19:12:53 <Momof13> we adopted through an agency in Oklahoma
03/29/00 19:12:53 <Mar2> Our state charged $750.00 to send a homestudy to another state!
03/29/00 19:13:04 <Graham> 90: find an agency that will work with you for free.
03/29/00 19:13:06 <Guest90> Is a private home study good all over the U.S.
03/29/00 19:13:22 <Guest90> What agency works for free?
03/29/00 19:13:31 <cherub4032> How do you find an agency that will work for you for free
03/29/00 19:13:37 <Guest8> does this book give a step by step, what does it tell us for $25.00?
03/29/00 19:13:38 <Robin11> some agencies will not accept a homestudy done by a private SW who is not affiliated with an agency
03/29/00 19:13:50 <Mar2> Not from what I've heard!(Guest 90)
03/29/00 19:13:55 <Graham> Hi, Graham again - lets stay on subject please -subsidy questionbs.
03/29/00 19:13:56 <Guest137> Guest 90, our county didn't cost us.
03/29/00 19:14:06 <Momof13> we have had the children for over a year and still the director of the agency hasn't applied for subs
03/29/00 19:14:59 <Guest137> We have only medical assistance, the monthly subsidy plus level of care was finally given us but what about the 12 years with no subsidy?
03/29/00 19:15:07 <Guest74> Hi I just got here. Is subsidy something that I must apply for? How long does it last? Is it designated for a particular purpose?
03/29/00 19:15:11 <Mar2> If a child comes with subsidy, and it is ADHD related, are we required to continue the previous form of treatment in order to collect?
03/29/00 19:15:56 <Guest90> Is the subsidy for children that you already adopted that need help or for subsidy to adopt a child?
03/29/00 19:15:56 <Graham> Mom of 13: where did you children come from?
03/29/00 19:16:13 <Momof13> Oklahoma
03/29/00 19:16:17 <Robin11> its for children you already adopted
03/29/00 19:16:20 <Guest8> can my twins, 5 yrs, independant agency, qualify for aap, don't have it now, 1 has fas
03/29/00 19:16:26 <Graham> Mar2no, but you may be required to show what services you are purchasing with the subsidy.
03/29/00 19:16:49 <Guest74> Does it cover daycare
03/29/00 19:16:54 <Graham> 90: for children who you adopt that have been in foster care previously
03/29/00 19:17:17 <Guest90> thank-you. I thought this chat room was for adoption subsidy to adopt. I know it is off subject but we want to adopt a child and can't afford the high cost.
03/29/00 19:17:23 <Mar2> To adopt, alot of them say they are already on subsidy, how does that continue?
03/29/00 19:17:25 <Elaina> What can the subsidies be used for.
03/29/00 19:17:42 <Graham> 8: Children are eligible with their special needs but tell me about the agency - what state?
03/29/00 19:17:44 <Guest137> My daughter was in foster care prior to adoption, and besides medical assistance we weren't offered anything else. Unfair!!
03/29/00 19:17:54 <Guest90> Thank-you for your help
03/29/00 19:18:07 <Graham> 74: Depends on the state - In California, yes.
03/29/00 19:18:08 <Robin11> anything elaina
03/29/00 19:18:54 <Guest149> How costly is it to adopt from China?
03/29/00 19:18:54 <Graham> 90: see adoption no cost on your search engine
03/29/00 19:19:05 <Graham> 149: gigantic
03/29/00 19:19:10 <Guest8> graham, calif., latino family inst
03/29/00 19:19:35 <Robin11> about 15 k from china
03/29/00 19:19:42 <Mar2> Grahm, where does this subsidy $ come from?
03/29/00 19:20:02 <Guest74> Does the state tell you what you are eligible for or do you need to research
03/29/00 19:20:09 <Graham> Mar2: I don't understand
03/29/00 19:20:42 <Graham> Elaina: basic care -food, clothing & shelter & special needs ie: therapy etc.
03/29/00 19:20:54 <Guest139> We are in the process of applying for an adoption subsidy from Texas for our son with many special needs that we adopted in 1987
03/29/00 19:20:56 <Guest8> good questin mar2, is it state money
03/29/00 19:21:16 <Guest137> What leverage do I have to get the county of the adopted child to come forth with retro subsidy? Our daughter has undergone many surgeries, RAD therapy and all the money with missed work and now paying for the expensive RAD therapy is getting us in financial trouble.
03/29/00 19:21:20 <Mar2> Is this subsidy (a monetary amount) taxable? Is it like social security?
03/29/00 19:21:21 <Graham> 137: what state?
03/29/00 19:21:56 <Guest137> Minnesota
03/29/00 19:22:05 <Graham> Mar 2: subsidy is a fed, state & county share of cost
03/29/00 19:22:34 <Mar2> But does it get claimed as income?
03/29/00 19:22:39 <Momof13> graham/helen, is there anything I can do to make the agency apply for the subsidy on these kids?
03/29/00 19:22:57 <Guest8> must we pay taxes on the subsidy
03/29/00 19:23:11 <Graham> 139: what medical/behavioral history did you or the agency hae prior to adoption.
03/29/00 19:23:39 <Guest137> Are you asking guest 137?
03/29/00 19:24:03 <Graham> HANG IN EVERYONE - Helen will try to get to everyone....Re tax - thge news is usually good - but call your tax expert to be sure.
03/29/00 19:24:03 <Guest139> We knew he had Down Syndrome & a heart defect
03/29/00 19:25:13 <Mar2> Thanks everyone ! Now i understand a little more! Good night and God Bless!
03/29/00 19:25:21 <Graham> Momof13: grounds for an administrative hearing are delay. you be sure you have all you paperwork in then start writing dated letters to the director.
03/29/00 19:26:09 <Graham> Hi Brki
03/29/00 19:26:11 <Guest137> Our daughter had failure to thrive, 1/2 of the first year was in the hospital, cardiac problems, generalized muscle weakness, developmental delays, a syndrome has never been put on her problems, to this day unknown cause. Now Reactive attachment disorder, continued intenstinal problems, strabismus, etc.
03/29/00 19:26:12 * Guest92 We are finishing up homestudy & new to adoption but am interested in a sibling group of 5 from NYC. Will need subsidy for them but am afraid to ask how much it will be. Am idea?
03/29/00 19:26:22 <Barki> Hi Graham. Busy nite!
03/29/00 19:27:12 <Ladybug> Hi ! we are in the process of adopting a sibling group of 6, the mother is dying and does not want Children & Youth involved with this adoption because she is scared they will take the kids and we won't get them, My question is how do we get subsidy if we don't adopt through and C & Y in the county ? We live in Pa.
03/29/00 19:27:23 * Guest92 Any guess on monthly amount of subsidy for 5?
03/29/00 19:27:27 <Graham> 139: were you told about subsidy at time of adoption
03/29/00 19:27:54 <Guest137> No, we were only offered medical assistance.
03/29/00 19:28:11 <Guest8> what name of that HOW TO book that you sell\
03/29/00 19:28:24 <Guest137> No mention of monthly subsidy, and we didn't know any existed.
03/29/00 19:28:25 <Graham> 137: what is going on with subsidy
03/29/00 19:29:04 <Guest137> We got it in July, but since we weren't offered it at time of adoption 12 years ago I want retro of somesort.
03/29/00 19:29:10 <Guest139> It was our understanding that because it was through a private agency he was not eligible for subsidy. The State Of Texas is working with us now & has been very helpful. My son since has been fitted with a tracheostomy.
03/29/00 19:29:41 <Graham> 137: You sound like you should have received subsidy all along. Call us for a rep/friend to help you do a hearing in Texas 1-800-227-8044
03/29/00 19:29:54 * Guest82 Are there any special adoption subsidies or grants given for the adoption of international children?
03/29/00 19:30:21 <Guest213> Hello. I am a fostering to adopt. Two boys will be place in our home next Wednesday. we will foster until the rights are termination. How can I find our what subsidys if any they are entitled to. Texas. ages 3 years and 8 months.
03/29/00 19:30:26 <Guest137> Will that work if we are in Minnesota?
03/29/00 19:30:36 <Graham> Ladybug: Many states will do a DESIGNATED RELINQUISHMENT. Meaning - children go to you or back to mom - not another foster care placement.
03/29/00 19:31:24 <Ladybug> Thank you but how do we go about getting subsidy ??
03/29/00 19:31:57 <Guest139> We found an article on the web that states that adoption subsidy for private agencies started in 1992. Is that true?
03/29/00 19:32:10 <Graham> 137: retro will depend on - 1.why you did not ask sooner adn 2. what financial hardships you have incurred.
03/29/00 19:32:27 <Guest8> how do i know if my twins are able to get subsidy. we didnt know anything when we got them
03/29/00 19:32:59 <Graham> 139: If adoption was through private agency - why is Texas helping now? That says to me, the child was eligiable at time of adoption
03/29/00 19:33:43 <Graham> ok, graham shouting agin - we're half way through. lots of people!.
03/29/00 19:33:52 <Guest137> We adopted in 1986 but until this summer when we were looking for ways to pay for RAD treatment it was asked by us to use our subsidy to pay for the cost of the program. Before this we didn't know anything about subsidy.
03/29/00 19:34:19 <Graham> QUESTION: Where are yoiu from, how did you find this room? How many kids have/are you each adopting?
03/29/00 19:34:20 <Graham> Thanks.
03/29/00 19:34:24 <Graham> Than back to
03/29/00 19:34:26 <Graham> Helen....
03/29/00 19:35:26 <Guest139> We found that article & called Texas. They sent us out forms to fill out & things we have to supply to them.
03/29/00 19:35:28 <Robin10> nite and thanks
03/29/00 19:35:48 <Graham> 137: Tell me who you have talked to re: subsidy?
03/29/00 19:36:13 * Guest82 I am looking to adopt a child from Romania who is severely delayed and will need alot of help when she comes to the US. What help will be available to her over here??
03/29/00 19:36:48 <Guest137> My county social worker, and Laurie Ruhl at the Mn State Dept.
03/29/00 19:36:53 <Graham> 82: none. Adoption subsidy is for U.S. children, primarily placed from foster care.
03/29/00 19:36:56 <Momof13> I need to sign off. night
03/29/00 19:37:14 <Guest74> If a child has minimal special needs but is age two to seven, and a minority, are they eligible for subsidy?
03/29/00 19:37:54 <Graham> 139: ask for Retro. Be reasonable but your situation sounds good. Call or fax us if you want us to proof your request.
03/29/00 19:38:25 <Guest74> Is subsidy for therapy, medical care only?
03/29/00 19:38:36 <Guest139> Thanks...You have been a big help.
03/29/00 19:38:49 <Guest77> i know where you live. i have pam and your two dogs hostage. please pay the ransom
03/29/00 19:38:59 <Guest137> I've already asked for retro by letter, then asked for appeal as the answer was no, they denied by letter being sent for an appeal.
03/29/00 19:39:01 <Graham> 137: NACAC (No. Am. Council on Adoptable Children) is in MN> 1-800-wait....
03/29/00 19:39:17 <Graham> 77: Aaaargh
03/29/00 19:39:18 <Guest137> Yes, I've contacted them.
03/29/00 19:39:23 <Graham> Howdidyou know?
03/29/00 19:39:55 <Graham> NACAC 1-800-470-6665 - what did they say
03/29/00 19:40:15 <Graham> 77: be nice to the dogs please - helen
03/29/00 19:40:29 <Guest137> No.
03/29/00 19:40:37 <Guest77> helen? it's mircea
03/29/00 19:41:06 <Guest137> I've contact State Representatives too, no action.
03/29/00 19:41:14 <Graham> 74:Subsidy can be used for a lot of things. more than just therapy and medical
03/29/00 19:41:31 <Graham> Mircea - go to bed - no South Park for you...
03/29/00 19:41:47 <songbird> I have never been to a chat room before, so I don't know if I am supposed to just jump in?
03/29/00 19:42:00 <Guest77> i agree, we should get cable.
03/29/00 19:42:01 <Graham> please do jump in
03/29/00 19:42:26 <songbird> If I were to read ONE book or article on subsidies, what would you recommend?
03/29/00 19:42:26 <Guest137> It would cost the state of Minnesota alot more if the adoption was ended. Of course we won't so that. But all the medical conditions, and RAD were preexisting conditions.
03/29/00 19:42:30 <Graham> 137: do you want a hearing?
03/29/00 19:42:50 <Guest137> YES!!! I think we deserve retro!
03/29/00 19:43:13 <Graham> Songbird mine perhaps? Understanding AAP available at 1-800-227-8044
03/29/00 19:43:16 <Guest137> How much will a hearing cost?
03/29/00 19:43:20 <Guest8> what does a hearing do, is it like mediation?
03/29/00 19:43:24 <Guest77> no
03/29/00 19:43:48 <Ladybug> How do you get subsidy if you do a private adoption ?
03/29/00 19:43:50 <Graham> 137: cost of hearing is notiong to the family
03/29/00 19:44:10 <Guest137> Well then, are there any other hidden costs?
03/29/00 19:44:23 <Guest77> your wife and stepson are guest77... getting ready to say good night... early am tomorrow
03/29/00 19:44:24 <Graham> A hearing is requested by teh famiy. Formal form request that is different in every state.
03/29/00 19:44:38 <Guest8> ladybug, i've asked that several times but for some reason i don't get an answer, is it because i cant spell
03/29/00 19:44:38 <Graham> Night night my fsamily...
03/29/00 19:45:19 <Guest137> I would like to have someone help us get the hearing.
03/29/00 19:45:25 <Graham> ladybug: the attorney answer "It depends".
03/29/00 19:45:29 <Guest77> lander and angy say good night...
03/29/00 19:45:54 <Guest5> If we are going through the state for our adoption, is it advisable to retain an attorney to make sure the state is on the "level" ?
03/29/00 19:46:02 <Ladybug> Depends on what ? There are 6 children !
03/29/00 19:46:17 <Graham> RE: Subsidy and private adoption. If the child is "at risk" of being a dependent, the child can be found to be eligiable.
03/29/00 19:46:50 <Guest74> Does being a minority make them at risk
03/29/00 19:46:53 <Ladybug> And who do we contact to start this process ?
03/29/00 19:46:59 * Guest32 We are from Oklahoma, knew of the room from looking thru adopting.org, considering adopting special needs, just gathering info, already have 2 birth children
03/29/00 19:47:15 <Guest77> good night
03/29/00 19:47:26 <Guest77> signing off in california
03/29/00 19:47:29 <Graham> 137: reguest a hearing request from your child protective branch or call a state legal aid. Request the hearing, you will be assigned a date, then call us adn we will walk you through it.
03/29/00 19:47:44 <Graham> Ladybug:
3/29/00 19:47:50 <JanMsw> Evenin all. Guess I missed an excellent chat, eh?
03/29/00 19:48:03 <Graham> Ladybug: Where did your children come from?
03/29/00 19:48:24 <Guest137> Thank you Graham, you have been very helpful!!!!
03/29/00 19:48:25 <Guest74> I give up
03/29/00 19:48:45 <Guest139> We were told that we could not get retroactive to 1987, but if we were approved for a subsidy it would be retroactive back to the date they recieved it.
03/29/00 19:48:49 <Guest12> hi friends, sorry to be late.
03/29/00 19:49:02 <Graham> 5: an attorney is expensive. call us & we'll make sure you are getting good info.
03/29/00 19:49:09 <JanMsw> evenin 12, just as late as I am!!
03/29/00 19:49:22 <Guest5> thanks!
03/29/00 19:49:41 <Guest137> 139, yes, but if we weren't even knowlegable about a monthly subsidy, how can one ask?
03/29/00 19:49:42 <Graham> 139:back to the date of first request is the standard response. However, financial hardship in the past is helpful
03/29/00 19:49:53 <Guest5> And the number is...?
03/29/00 19:50:07 * Guest92 Am considering a sibling group of 5 to adopt from NYC but am afraid to ask about subsidies. How do you bring it up without sounding like only wanting money ?
03/29/00 19:50:11 <JanMsw> Graham, may I make an inquiry, even tho you all are far into this chat?
03/29/00 19:50:23 <Graham> 139: You should have been informed about subsidy prior to finalization. were you?
03/29/00 19:50:35 <Guest139> No
03/29/00 19:50:57 <Guest137> 139, what state are you from. Looks like we have a similar problem.
03/29/00 19:51:06 <Ladybug> They are still with their mother here in Pa. She wanted to pick they family before she died, and it could happen any day, and we are working with A community group that has delt with her through her illness.
03/29/00 19:51:12 <Graham> 92: Do NOT be afraid to ask. Subsidy is there for you to best help you raise your children. ASK
03/29/00 19:51:23 <Guest139> New York..But our son was from Texas.
03/29/00 19:51:26 <Guest12> i would like to know how to adopt in another state.
03/29/00 19:51:39 <JanMsw> Graham, are you talking about the Adoption Assistance Program?
03/29/00 19:51:43 <Graham> Ladybug: what about dependency guardianship until she dies?
03/29/00 19:51:46 <Guest12> i live in Ca. the baby in Florida
03/29/00 19:51:59 <JanMsw> Guest, ICPC is the ans, partially
03/29/00 19:52:04 <Graham> Jan, its Helen , and yes - for another 7 mniutes...
03/29/00 19:52:17 <Ladybug> Could you explain what that is please
03/29/00 19:52:24 <Guest213> I am fostering to adopt. Two boys, ages 3 yrs and the other one is 8 months. We will eventually adopt them when rights are terminated. How can I find out what subsidys are available while fostering and when we adopt them.
03/29/00 19:52:31 <JanMsw> tks, I work in adoptions in Los Angeles County, so was glad to hear about this chat
03/29/00 19:52:51 <Graham> I will be back in the office on Monday - there is someone there to return call s & help. 1-800-227-8044 or legal@gv.org
03/29/00 19:52:58 <Guest137> I wish there were local chats like this?
03/29/00 19:53:13 <Graham> JanMsw - we're glad you are here
03/29/00 19:53:27 <JanMsw> Tks, Helen, just wish I had entered at the beginning
03/29/00 19:53:36 <Graham> 137 what state do you live in again?
03/29/00 19:53:38 <Guest12> me tooooo
03/29/00 19:53:47 <Guest137> Minnesota
03/29/00 19:54:03 <JanMsw> Guest12, are you in CA?
03/29/00 19:54:06 <Guest12> yes
03/29/00 19:54:08 <Graham> 12: lets do this on a state by state basis so you can learn your own rules etc.
03/29/00 19:54:12 <JanMsw> What county?
03/29/00 19:54:21 <Guest12> san bernadino
03/29/00 19:54:21 <Guest5> Do subsidies carry over from state to state? Or do they need to be re-instated under the state we live in?
03/29/00 19:54:25 <JanMsw> Ooops, sorry
03/29/00 19:54:36 <JanMsw> 12, I live in the same county!!
03/29/00 19:54:46 <Guest12> i live in Rialto
03/29/00 19:54:53 <JanMsw> Victorville
03/29/00 19:54:55 <Guest5> Kansas
03/29/00 19:54:59 <Guest12> wow
03/29/00 19:55:10 <Guest8> i live in san bernadino
03/29/00 19:55:10 <JanMsw> OK, I will be quiet!!
03/29/00 19:55:17 <JanMsw> Kewl, 8
03/29/00 19:55:27 <Guest137> I hope I can find a state legal aid in Minnesota.
03/29/00 19:55:31 <Graham> 5 each state has their own version of a subsidy program. Placing staate pays the subsidy. All subsidy programs are based on federal law
03/29/00 19:55:35 <Guest12> i am thinking of fost=adopt....but want to make sure i dont have to give up the baby
03/29/00 19:55:39 <Guest116> i am from indiana waiting for a child to adopt
03/29/00 19:55:39 <Guest8> opps! san bernardino
03/29/00 19:55:53 <Graham> 137: NACAC should have a set of forms for you.
03/29/00 19:56:09 <Guest137> Thanks again!
03/29/00 19:56:11 <Guest12> already had the home study..
03/29/00 19:56:12 <JanMsw> Helen, what are those initials, pls
03/29/00 19:56:39 <Guest137> Trouble is the NACAC gal is the one who refused to pass on our appeal.\
03/29/00 19:56:41 <JanMsw> I take it, SB co did not place child as an adoptive placement?
03/29/00 19:57:00 <Guest12> ????
03/29/00 19:57:04 <Graham> Jan: North American Council on Adoptable Children
03/29/00 19:57:12 <Guest173> This is my first time chatting and I am very unsure about what I am doing -- We are adopting a 5 year old in Iowa. What do we need to know about subsidy?
03/29/00 19:57:16 <Guest12> havent gotten a child yet
03/29/00 19:57:24 <JanMsw> I see!!
03/29/00 19:57:39 <Graham> 173: ask your social worker LOTS of questions
03/29/00 19:57:45 <JanMsw> 12, what network do you use?
03/29/00 19:57:49 <Guest12> waiting..have a few more papers to fill out..it is thru Aspira
03/29/00 19:58:04 <JanMsw> Helen is sooooo right, folks, ask us a thousand questions!!!
03/29/00 19:58:09 <Guest12> in SB
03/29/00 19:58:28 <Guest5> Do any foreign adoptions qualify for subsidy?
03/29/00 19:58:33 <JanMsw> Are you on aol?
03/29/00 19:58:39 <Guest12> yes
03/29/00 19:58:53 <JanMsw> What is your screen name?
03/29/00 19:59:03 <Graham> 12: The AAP subsidy rate is based on a Public Agency Rate NOT the Aspira rate so ask about your child's assessment
03/29/00 19:59:16 <Guest12> can you help
03/29/00 19:59:24 <Graham> 5: Foreign adoptions do not qualify for subsidy
03/29/00 19:59:39 <JanMsw> I will try, 12, but easier to chat on aol some time
03/29/00 19:59:54 <Graham> This has been wonderful for me - thank you!
03/29/00 19:59:58 <Guest54> Does subsidy cover newborns as well as older children?
03/29/00 20:00:14 <Guest137> I don't think years ago there was enough openness on adoptions and we at least did not know the right questions to ask and trusted the social worker.
03/29/00 20:00:20 <Guest5> Thanks alot, g'nite all!
03/29/00 20:00:22 <JanMsw> Mine is JanMswCa
03/29/00 20:00:23 <Guest12> what is yours..
03/29/00 20:00:26 <Guest173> Let me try to narrow the question--Is there a resource I can use to ensure we take advantage of all the available assistance
03/29/00 20:00:27 <Guest12> thanx
03/29/00 20:00:36 <Graham> Hi 54 , it depends on pre-existing conditions, and if the child was in foster care
03/29/00 20:00:50 <Guest12> r u a social worker
03/29/00 20:00:55 <JanMsw> yes
03/29/00 20:01:07 <Guest12> i would love to become one..
03/29/00 20:01:10 <Guest54> Is the subsidy rate the amount that was paid to the foster parents
03/29/00 20:01:13 <Guest137> #173, I with you luck, do your homework.
03/29/00 20:01:20 <JanMsw> when we are done here, come find me on aol?
03/29/00 20:01:40 <Graham> OK, time for lights out on the east coast....Next week, from the left coast - more expert chat. Please feel free to use the room to talk among yourselves. Helen is associated with Sierra Adoptions
03/29/00 20:01:40 <Guest12> ok
03/29/00 20:01:53 <Guest12> thanx
03/29/00 20:02:03 <Graham> at http://www.sierraadoptions.org
03/29/00 20:02:03 <JanMsw> Helen, tks so much, where can we email you?
03/29/00 20:02:16 <Graham> legal@gv.net
03/29/00 20:02:18 <Guest137> JanMsw, do you know of anyone in Minnesota that might help with retro subsidy?
03/29/00 20:02:32 <Graham> Be safe and happy everyone - we love you. Bye g and h
03/29/00 20:02:46 <JanMsw> OOOOOh, no I do not, but would chat with children's services there, first
03/29/00 20:02:48 <Guest139> Thanks for the help. Have a great night now.
03/29/00 20:02:57 <Guest12> goodnite..talk to you again Jan
03/29/00 20:03:09 <JanMsw> OK
03/29/00 20:03:17 <Guest54> Anyone just beginning the adoption process?
03/29/00 20:03:59 <Ladybug> have adopted 13 so far and are now working on 6 more.
03/29/00 20:04:05 <Guest22> I'm late- did anyone mention www.nacac.org as a resource to find out what kind of assistance is out there state to state?
03/29/00 20:04:06 <Guest32> we are in Oklahoma, just looking into it, have 2 birth children 4.5yrs and 19months
03/29/00 20:05:15 <Guest139> Good luck Ladybug
03/29/00 20:05:41 <Ladybug> thanks, still didn't get questions answered, so I guess I'll try tomorrow night !
03/29/00 20:05:49 <Guest139> We have 14 children with special needs
03/29/00 20:05:50 <Guest22> Ladybug?
03/29/00 20:06:02 <Ladybug> yes !
03/29/00 20:06:17 <Guest22> To find more answers, try typing in ADOPTION ASSISTANCE at any of the big search
03/29/00 20:06:24 <Guest32> 22:apparently you can view the entire transcript at www.adopting.org/ar.html
03/29/00 20:06:28 <Guest22> sites- I found tons of great web sites that way
03/29/00 20:06:58 <Ladybug> Thanks I'll try that yet tonight.
03/29/00 20:07:48 <Guest139> This was my first time in a chat room & it was very interesting. I will have to do this again.
03/29/00 20:07:51 <Ladybug> Our case worker is really into helping us with a private adoption so I'm kinda out there in left field someplace.
03/29/00 20:08:39 <Guest116> 139: did you adopt all 14 children?
03/29/00 20:09:09 <Guest139> Most of them A couple we have legal guardianship of
03/29/00 20:09:37 <Guest116> we are just waiting for one child
03/29/00 20:09:38 <Ladybug> 139 do you get subsidy with legal guardianship ?
03/29/00 20:09:44 <Guest139> Ladybug..Do your children have special needs?
03/29/00 20:09:58 <Guest139> No subsidy with guardianship
03/29/00 20:10:29 <Ladybug> Their mother is dying of aids, and the 3 father's rights have already been terminated, the children are all healthy .
03/29/00 20:10:52 <Guest139> What about social security?
03/29/00 20:11:24 <Ladybug> I wasn't sure if they'd get any from the mother cause to the best of our knowledge she never worked.
03/29/00 20:11:52 <Guest139> Does their mom get Social Security benefits?
03/29/00 20:12:04 <Ladybug> no just welfare.
03/29/00 20:13:04 <Ladybug> she doesn't want anyone to know she has aids so that children & youth won't come out and take them from her, she wants to keep them with her as long as she can to prepare them for her death.
03/29/00 20:13:05 <Guest139> Then I don't know. Might be worth a call though.
03/29/00 20:13:40 <Guest139> Why would children & youth take them?
03/29/00 20:14:23 <Guest139> As long as mom is capable of taking care of them
03/29/00 20:14:37 <Guest139> Why couldn't they remain with her?
03/29/00 20:14:45 <Ladybug> I talked to an atty. and he said C & Y would have to take custody in order for us to get custody, but my fear is would they still let us adopt them or would they look for other families. I already have 10 children at home, and have had trouble adopting more.
03/29/00 20:15:08 <Ladybug> Mom should already be dead, Dr's can't understand why she is still alive now.
03/29/00 20:15:54 <Guest139> Can't your attorney file a petition for you to get guardianship through the courts before mom dies?
03/29/00 20:16:02 <Ladybug> C & Y will take them if they find out she is no longer capable of taking care of them, that's why she went to this community group for help.
03/29/00 20:16:29 <Guest139> Mom probably needs to know her children will be with you first before she leaves them.
03/29/00 20:17:23 <Guest36> hi
03/29/00 20:17:30 <Ladybug> That's what we all figure, she is hanging on by a thread just to make sure the kids are taken care of first, the oldest is 10 and he sleeps at the foot of her bed to make sure she doesn't die while he's there.
03/29/00 20:17:33 <Guest139> hi 36
03/29/00 20:17:45 <Guest32> hi 36
03/29/00 20:18:15 <Guest139> Ladybug are your children all adopted & do they have special needs?
03/29/00 20:19:10 <Guest139> That poor little guy. How hard this must be for him.
03/29/00 20:19:29 <Ladybug> All 13 of them are adopted, we have subsidy for all of them. They are sibling groups, but we adopted from local counties, and threw our adoption agency. They are considered special needs only because they were sibling groups.
03/29/00 20:20:17 <Guest139> Once again, can't your attorney petition the courts for guardianship of these children before mom dies?
03/29/00 20:20:31 <Ladybug> A few are ADD/HD but the rest are normal, fighing, screaming loving kids.
03/29/00 20:20:53 <Guest139> Sounds great to me.. :o)
03/29/00 20:21:07 <Ladybug> I have to find one first. The one I talked to is through the Adoption Agency, and she only does adoptions for them.
03/29/00 20:21:18 <Guest36> how large were the groups?
03/29/00 20:21:47 <Guest139> I would look fast if mom is that sick.
03/29/00 20:21:54 <Ladybug> first time 2.... second time 3...... third time 5.... fourth time... 3...
03/29/00 20:22:18 <Guest139> One at a time was enough for me
03/29/00 20:22:25 <Guest139> God bless you
03/29/00 20:22:34 <Guest139> I know he sure has us
03/29/00 20:23:10 <Ladybug> God has blessed us, and that's why we keep adopting to bless these poor kids who have lost everything, we adopt siblings so they don't loose each other.
03/29/00 20:23:23 * Guest36 I seem to having problems sending to chat
03/29/00 20:23:44 <Ladybug> type and hit your enter key
03/29/00 20:24:04 <Guest36> This is my first time using this
03/29/00 20:24:30 <Guest36> ahh... much better Thank You LB
03/29/00 20:24:30 <Ladybug> you'll get used to it , it's a lot of fun, and there is so much info. to get from everyone!
03/29/00 20:24:43 <Guest139> Ladybug. I would love to stay in touch with you & know how things are going if you would like to drop me an e-mail sometime.
03/29/00 20:25:01 <Ladybug> what state do you live in...
03/29/00 20:25:07 <Guest139> I have to get going now though.
03/29/00 20:25:10 <Guest139> New York
03/29/00 20:25:23 <Ladybug> I'm in Pa.
03/29/00 20:25:24 <Guest139> And you?
03/29/00 20:25:33 <Ladybug> neighbors almost
03/29/00 20:25:40 <Guest139> I have friends in Shippensburg
03/29/00 20:25:42 <Guest36> We are being considered for AA twins 15months old
03/29/00 20:25:55 <Guest139> AA?????
03/29/00 20:26:08 <Ladybug> we are in New cumberland, near harrisburg,
03/29/00 20:26:15 <Guest36> African American
03/29/00 20:26:24 <Guest139> Not that far from Shippensburg
03/29/00 20:26:35 <Ladybug> no about an hour
03/29/00 20:26:49 <Guest139> After I sent the question to you it dawnwed on me what you meant
03/29/00 20:27:09 <Guest36> ok:}
03/29/00 20:27:11 <Guest139> I am hoping to visit them over spring break
03/29/00 20:27:33 <Guest32> 36 did you have a question?
03/29/00 20:27:45 <Ladybug> oh I forgot. .com
03/29/00 20:28:24 <Guest36> yes, these children have no medical hx of abuse
03/29/00 20:29:01 <Guest36> are they considered specal needs
03/29/00 20:29:40 <Guest36> sorry fingers are studdering tonight
03/29/00 20:29:42 <Guest139> It was really nice chatting with you Ladybug. Good luck with the children you are trying to adopt.
03/29/00 20:29:48 <Ladybug> 36 we have AA children, and we are caucasian, we also have hispanic children, and caucasian children, you should see the looks when I'm out shopping with all of them.
03/29/00 20:30:18 <Ladybug> 139... will keep in touch, will talk to ya later on e-mail
03/29/00 20:30:21 <Guest36> i bet, Ladybug
03/29/00 20:30:28 <Guest32> from what i have learned, special needs can mean siblings, medical problems, or hard to place such as African Am or others
03/29/00 20:31:07 <Ladybug> that's about it. Or if they have been in the system for years and they can't place them
03/29/00 20:31:09 <Guest139> My hubby & myself are caucasion & we also have AA children & hispanic children & we also get looks when out in public
03/29/00 20:31:17 <Guest36> I guess it is up to individual state to define
03/29/00 20:31:42 <Guest36> we are also cauc
03/29/00 20:31:50 <Guest139> GOODNIGHT NOW.
03/29/00 20:32:09 <Ladybug> we play a game of it... we try to figure out if they think what type of woman I must be, or if I've brought my day care out.
03/29/00 20:32:10 <Guest32> 36:why do you ask if they are special needs?
03/29/00 20:32:31 <Guest36> BM has 3 other children and can not handle the twins
03/29/00 20:33:27 <Ladybug> are you doing a private adoption, or through an agency
03/29/00 20:33:43 <Guest32> 36:are you asking with respect to subsidy?
03/29/00 20:33:44 <Guest36> this is set up as agency
03/29/00 20:34:04 <Guest36> yes, subsidy
03/29/00 20:35:16 <Guest32> So, ladybug, if 36 adopts AAtwins, do you think she would qualify for a subsidy?
03/29/00 20:35:43 <Ladybug> Yes
03/29/00 20:36:02 <Guest36> the agency is having to pay fostercare 30 per day for care
03/29/00 20:36:19 <Guest32> do AA children usually qualify for a subsidy?
03/29/00 20:36:27 <Ladybug> you won't get that much, maybe half if your lucky.
03/29/00 20:36:46 <Guest36> agency is requesting re-payment by adopting parents
03/29/00 20:37:17 <Ladybug> In the State of Pa. if you adopt any child that is in foster care, you automatically recieve subsidy, even if it is a single white child.
03/29/00 20:37:21 <Guest32> what does that mean, re-payment?
03/29/00 20:38:03 <Ladybug> I believe it is that way in most State's also
03/29/00 20:38:04 <Guest36> we must pay money to agecy that they paid for foster care
03/29/00 20:38:38 <Ladybug
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