Susan Ward: Becoming a Family Part 2

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Susan Ward: Becoming a Family Part 2 Assistance Information Support

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Older Child Adoption - Becoming a Family Part 2

"The Departure that Almost Didn't Happen"

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At the end of 1997, there was concern that Russia might close down in regards to adoptions. Everyone was scurrying to make sure all of us with identified children got them out before the end of the year. It really was going faster than I wanted (I'm self-employed and needed to finish a few projects). After some changing of court dates, November 25 was confirmed. I shifted into the get-visa-move-furniture- buy-gifts-buy-clothes-

get-prescriptions-make-copies-of-everything-buy-peanut-butter mode!

Nine days before departure, I got a voice mail from my local social worker. "There's a problem in Russia. Call me." Her line was busy for the next 32 minutes. I had good reason to be frantic.

According to the Russians, Hannah might have active TB. (To this day, we can't figure out what triggered this concern.) She had been moved to a hospital. If it was active, the Russians would not let her leave the country. It didn't matter to the Russians that the Americans (according to the described level [minimal] of possible TB) had no problem with her entering the US. With the Russian treatment methods, it might take a year to treat her. [All of this has been simplified. Many of the details have been blotted from my mind.]

Phone calls between me and my two agencies ensued. E-mails went between various parts of the US and Russia. I called Dr. Jenista in her hotel room at a conference in California (she's a saint!). The phone in the hospital where Hannah was, did not work (!!!!) making it a challenge for the agency to get information. They told me we would not know until Wednesday--three days before my scheduled departure--if I was to leave or not.

I could only proceed as if I were going to leave. Its very hard to explain the emotions of packing to go get my daughter (excited, nervous, adrenaline rush), bundled with the emotions of potentially not leaving (fear, questions, traumatized, disbelief). I just plodded ahead.

The schedule of my pre-departure days was as follows: Saturday: fix her room. Sunday: finish packing. Monday: teach class and wrap up some work projects. Tuesday and Wednesday: Texas business trip. Thursday: fly from Texas to Mississippi for another project. Friday night: return to Nashville. Saturday morning: leave for Russia at noon. Yea, yea, I know!

On Wednesday, I stood at a pay phone in the middle of a state park in rural Texas, checking my voice mail messages. The first one was from a friend who said her mother had put Hannah and me on her church's prayer list. I had never even met Johnna's mother. I stood and cried. The next message said "It's a go!" I dropped the phone and sat on the ground and sobbed.

I arrived back from Texas and Mississippi at 8 p.m. Friday. Two packages were to have arrived: my grow bag and my airline tickets. My grow bag was there. The tickets were not. I had spent so much effort during the previous week trying to remain calm, that at first I didn't even scream! But then I got mad. Real mad. I spoke to five different supervisors at FedEx. The tickets were found in a town 25 miles away. It was promised I would get them "first thing in the morning."

The morning phone calls went something like, "Yes, yes, the driver is leaving any minute. I'm sure he left some time ago. No, I'm not sure where the driver is. Well. . .I'm sure he'll be there soon. Hmm...I don't know. Yes, I do understand, but. . . . Gosh, you seem fairly upset. . . . " I was planning to leave the house at 9 a.m. The tickets arrived at 9:30!

When I got on the plane, I was so relieved to be there, I almost forgot what I was about to do!

Upcoming, part 3: A Perfect Meeting

[Susan Ward, founder of Heritage Communications, maintains Older Child Adoption Online Magazine. This regularly updated website includes articles, personal insights, links, books and more. There are special sections on single parenting, reactive attachment disorder, and "Adopted Just Like Me for Kids." Susan is also mama to Hannah, age 9, adopted at age 6 from Russia.]