Older Child Adoption - Susan Ward
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And Then You Get Home
The "After" Story of Adopting
an Older Child
by Susan M. Ward
Much of the available information relating to older child adoption and post-institutionalized (PI) children, is reported through research data, or other professional documentation.
"And Then You Get Home With Your Older Child" is a personal, behind-the-scenes look at a family-in-the-making.
A large portion of the adoption process focuses on "before." What age, girl or boy, what country, what color should I paint the room, what do I pack, what will our first meeting be like...
"And Then You Get Home With Your Older Child" is the "after" story.
This 60 page booklet is a "must-have" for those adopting older children....
Yes, I want to order.....CLICK HERE TO ORDER
This booklet gives you what I did not have---an honest portrayal of the day-to-day parenting of an older, post-institutionalized child. All children and all families are different. Our story, however, will give you a framework, a model, an example.
"And Then You Get Home With Your Older Child" is a compilation of journal entries, e-mail messages to friends and family, and postings to electronic mailing lists such as A-Parent-Russ (APR). These day-by-day-entries, sometimes curt and emotional, capture our tears, our struggles, our accomplishments, and our love.
3 December 1997, 3rd day in U.S.
A rough night. An hour and 15 minutes of jumping on the bed, running out of the room, hugging me, biting me, crying, and a few more. I just tried to keep calm, with a pleasant look on my face. Told her over and over what was and wasn't acceptable behavior. All I wanted to do was cry.
17 January 1998, second month home
She can count to 50. Knows her alphabet. And has a large vocabulary of two - four word phrases. All said using my inflection and a Russian accent. I love it!
10 March 1998, fourth month home
Hi Dana!
Thanks for your kind words. I'm truly blessed. She is bright, funny, athletic, and curious. There is one challenging aspect and that is that she is very, very strong willed. We've had our battles, but 95% of the time she is wonderful and I love just being with her. It's funny to hear American colloquialisms coming out of her mouth with a Russian accent. Things like, "What's going on?" or "My goodness gracious," or "Cool"
23 March 1998, fourth month home
Janet,
We're going through a bit of a rough time here again in the Ward household. Tantrums that include hitting, biting, kicking, throwing, etc. Exhausting physically and emotionally for both of us.
11 April 1998, fifth month home
What a good day! Cuddles in my bed this morning. Playing Monopoly. Being able to do laundry. Skipping together in the Harris Teeter parking lot. Curled upon the sofa reading stories. Telling an episode of "Henry the Mouse" before bed.
17 April 1998, fifth month home
She wouldn't put her pajamas on. Gave her 1-2-3 = timeout, continued her bad behavior. Hitting, kicking, trying to bite. Tried to throw sofa pillows at coffee table with breakables. Cried, said horrible things to me. Kicked wall, slammed door, hit me. Threatened to kill me. Hit me, kicked me. I remained extremely calm. Sat with her. She tried to negotiate the time for timeout, tried to negotiate it until tomorrow. Eventually did timeout. When finished, no story, said prayers, asleep right away
16 August 1998, ninth month home
Today, in reference to another mom-to-be who e-mailed me, I asked Hannah what she would say to a new mama who was about to adopt a child. Her unhesitating response was, "I'd ask her if she could help her child control his emotions. Does she know about that?"
Later, her good night prayer--
"...and thank you to Irena for giving me birth and for giving me the world, and thank you for my new mama."
Yes, I want to order.....CLICK HERE TO ORDER
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