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My Reunion Story
My Home Page
Email In 1979, I placed my daughter for adoption. I chose her family, but chose a closed adoption as well. I felt I did the best thing for my daughter and that I gave her a life that I could not give her. I prayed for her safety and for her understanding. I gave her to God, and He promised me that He was in control of the situation and that He would take care of her and that I would see her again one day. God kept His promise to me. And it is to Him, that I give all the thanks and praise!
The Decision To Search
It was June 1997 when I got online. I was curious, so I typed in "keyword" adoption.
I found an adoption chat room and message boards, so I started reading. I didn't know I could even search for my daughter! But I learned that I could. I called the state registry and asked for the forms to register on my daughter's 18th birthday. A few days later, the forms came in the mail. As I read them, it said that I needed to fill out all of the information and have the pages notorized, then send in a fee to be registered. At that time, I didn't have the funds to do this. So, I decided to call the agency and update my records, in case my daughter decided to look for me one day.
The Phone Call
When I called the agency, the receptionist took my name and number. The lady I needed to talk to was on another line. I waited about 30 minutes for her to call me back. When she asked what I needed help with, I told her I wanted to update my records. The CW let out a huge sigh and asked me my name at the time of the birth. I told her. She asked for my date of birth. I told her. She asked the birthfather's name. I told her.
She got very quiet, and asked all 3 questions again. I answered each one again. She then said, OK, when's your daughter's birthday? I knew something was up, because I had not told her it was a daughter. When I told her my daughter's birthday, she said, "Oh my goodness, you're not going to believe this!" I asked what. She said that she had my file on her desk, that she was getting ready to call my parents, because my daughter was looking for me!!
My Reaction
I almost fainted!! I had no idea that our reunion would happen this way!! I wasn't ready for a reunion!! I cried and laughed and got scared! What if she didn't like me? What if she hated me? What if I wasn't what she expected? What if I disappointed her? A million questions going through my mind all at once. the emotions going through me were almost too much to bear!
The CW was saying something....did I want to know what her name was?? YES!! Her name... I was going to know her name!
......Domonque.
The CW said she needed to call her and tell her that I had been found, and she would call me back. So, we hung up.
My husband was sitting there, and I told him what had happened. He was great, he hugged me and told me everything was going to be alright.
The phone rang a few minutes later, it was the CW. Domonque was as thrilled as I was. My daughter wanted me to write her a letter. I asked the CW a million questions at that point, what can I tell her, can I send pictures? The CW said I could give non-identifying information only, and yes, I could send a picture.
The CW told me this had to be the fastest reunion in history. I found out later, that the CW was on the phone with my daughter when I called and left the message for her to call me!
The Letter
As I started the first letter to my daughter, I was trying to figure out what to write. What did she want to know? How much detail do I give her?
When I was writing that letter, as I reread it, I felt like it sounded stupid. I started that letter a hundred times. Finally, I said, ok, I write from the heart and not re-read it! And I finally got it written.
I enclosed a picture of me holding her when she was a baby.
A few days later I received a tape she made for me, and some pictures. Not only did I see what a very beautiful young lady she was, but I got to hear her voice! There was also a wonderful letter from her Adoptive mom, Kay. WOW!!
Our First Meeting
Setting Up the First Meeting
After exchanging 2 letters, I called and asked for a meeting with my daughter. The CW agreed that we were ready to meet. She said that if one of us would call with a question about the other, the other one would call in a few minutes. She said it actually got eerie sometimes.
We set up a meeting for the following morning, and the CW called my daughter to see if that was ok, and Domonque was as anxious to meet me, as I was to meet her.
Arriving At The Agency
I was supposed to be at the agency at 9 a.m. I got there at 8:30! I was so nervous, excited and scared, at the same time. I talked with the CW a few minutes in one of the meeting rooms, that was near the front door. A few minutes passed and we heard the door open and someone talking to the receptionist. The CW said it was my daughter! OMG...it was happening! She left to get Domonque to a room, and said she would come back to get me in a few minutes.
While she was gone, I had so many fears going through my mind. What if she changed her mind?
The door to the room opened and the CW asked me if I was ready. I told her I was as ready as I was going to be, and we walked out of that room, down a hall, to another door.
Suddenly, it dawned on me. The daughter I had loved and prayed for for 18 years was on the other side of that door! What would her reaction be to me??
Our First Hug After All These Years
Words cannot describe what happened when the CW opened that door! My heart fell to my feet and I almost ran! I turned to put my purse on a chair and before I could get turned around again, I felt something hit me! It was my daughter! WOW!! A hug that lasted a life time! A hug that wiped away 18 years! Tears and laughter. The fears I had were gone! She loved me! I felt a love so strong, a love that time could never erase, a love that had grown for 18 years between the two of us. A love that could now be shared! When I finally got to look at her, she was so beautiful! It was so hard to believe that she was my daughter!
We talked for a few minutes and took some pictures. The CW said that we were supposed to stay with her for an hour, but said that she was in our way, and that we could go.
I was afraid that when we walked out the agency door, I would never see her again. I had made a card for her with my full name, address, phone number, pager number and any information that she might need to find me, if she ever wanted to see me again.
What I didn't know, was that she had taken the day off from work, so we could spend the whole day together.
Our Day Together
We left the agency and went to a coffee house to talk. So many questions, but this time, with the answers! We kept looking at each other and talking.
After a while we got in my van and went in search of my three kids, who were with my mother doing some sightseeing. I knew where they were, and I had to introduce them to her. They all hugged each other and after a few minutes, we left and went to a mall, where we walked and talked and walked and talked some more.
We went to lunch and I noticed we held our glasses and our forks the same way!
After a while it was time to say bye..not good-bye, but a "see ya later" bye.
I called her that night and talked with her Amom for hours on the phone. I met her Amom two nights later and we became fast friends. A truly remarkable lady, whom I love and care about.
We get together as often as we can, and have a great relationship. She lives about 15 minutes away from me, so we talk on the phone almost daily.
It's almost like those 18 years didn't happen. Domonque is a much a part of my family as any of my other children. They have accepted her into our lives with open arms and love her like she has always been a part of our lives. I guess she has always been.
To Domonque
My wonderful daughter,
It is my pleasure to know you and to love you so freely. Thank you for allowing me into your life and for making my life fuller and richer. I will always love you, now and forever.
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