My first Mother's Day

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document.isTrellix = 1; My first Mother's Day
My first Mother's DayOur Emily

Thoughts on Mother's Day, 2001.

May is one of those months that I could learn to hate, really..... The 10th is my birthday, and now that I'm actually past 30 years old I could do without the reminder of my own mortality, thank you!
BirthMother's Day is the 12th, and Mothers day on the 13th.... Until this year Mother's Day was just a reminder to send the Mother's in my life something that smells or tastes sweet. It floors me to realize that I actually AM a Mother now... it doesn't seem possible that a life passed through my body and into the world.
April 22nd seems like years in the past right now, but it was only three weeks ago that I was laboring away painfully in the hospital.
Two weeks ago that I held her in my arms for possibly the last time, and entrusted a woman I hardly know to be all the things I wished I could be for my daughter.
There must be something that I can do to turn all of my hurt into something positive for someone. I'll try to think of a Mother's Day tradition that I can start next year that does some good, and keeps me busy so I won't depress everyone unfortunate enough to be around me!
Thinking of Emily's father, my partner has become my remedy for the blues... I never thought that anyone would ever stand beside me like he has. I think Ill make planning something special for him on Fathers Day my Mothers Day tradition! There's some Karmic Justice in that, and he really deserves to be the center of attention after all he gave up to get us through these last few months.
We tend to overlook Men's feelings and their grief because we are so LOUD about ours. Women weep and share our feelings, while Men by comparison are rarely so demonstrative. I can sense that he is as deeply affected as I have been, even though he isn't reacting to it the same way I do. There are almost no Birth Father resources on the web, have you noticed that? Birth Fathers rarely post on the message boards either, but I suspect there are quite a few reading them. I suppose that Men would create those resources for themselves if it would help them, as women have done. One thing for sure though, is he deserves whatever kind of loving support and thoughtful care that it takes to help him through this, and I intend to make sure he has it.

I found a email list specifically for Birth Fathers ~>>
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/2991/bdadmail.html

Here's a little something to play with ~>>
http://users.rcn.com/jonmarin//adoptionopoly.htm