Adopting Chat

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A Story of Adoptive Parent
and Birthmother in a
Sibling group adoption

by Darcey
D_McCampbell@bmifcu.org

My name is Darcey and in November 1999 we adopted a sibling group-- a brother
and sister, both toddlers. Well the most wonderful thing has happened. On
March 10, 2000 my prayers were answered in meeting their birth mother. I had
begged the caseworker to ask her if I could go and meet her and it finally
happened!!:-) She herself grew up in the foster care system before laws
were passed. She was never adopted herself and has had a really rough
childhood and life. My heart cried to meet her to give her some peace of
mind and be able someday to tell our children that we met their birthmother
and how wonderful she was and is!!

She walked into this little room where they would let the caseworker and I meet with her, I had taken drawn pictures that the children had done for the mommy that had them in her tummy and several photos. They are 2 & 3. When she came into the room she
saw the stuff that I had brought on the table and broke down in tears, then
she came over and hugged me. I am crying just remembering. I had about 25
photos for her of the kids eating and bathing and playing and them in their
rooms ...all the things I could think of that she might want to see. We talked
for an hour and it was wonderful, she told me that she couldn't have picked
a better mother for her children if she had had the chance. She is only 20
herself and has lost 3 children in her young life, but 3 days after our two
where placed she gave birth to their brother. It is her goal to go out and
find work so she will be able to support him. I now know my children's full
history with her, that she did bond with her children that she loved them
very much and really thought about them everyday of her life.

Our son just had his 4th birthday and one of his gifts was the photo that the caseworker took of both the mothers who love him very much. I realize he may not
understand now but someday he will, and he will know all about her and that
she loved him very much and our daughter too. Her birthday is in April. I
will always treasure the day that I met the woman that brought the joy of
children into my life. I am not able to have children. She was as wonderful
as she was in my dreams and I see her in her children and will love them
enough for both of us. I want you to please print this next week.

The adoptive parents need to know about the birth parents... they are people too who have lost a child and they really do care. I also hope that adoptees will enjoy this because never give up hope your birth mothers are out there somewhere in the world and not a day goes by that you are not thought of. My children's birth mother will always be a part of my family and I told her just that. She has never had a family but
does now. Thank you Sandra:-)