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From: Pat Johnston
Date: 29 Dec 1998
Time: 19:11:30
Remote Name: sji-ca1-171.ix.netcom.com
Gail, Yes, it's normal to be this nervous. Yes, it's normal to have a hard time believing that an adoption could really happen after having had all of those miscarriages (I'm so sorry!)
But, Gail, the answer to your dilemma is in your own question. You said that what you want is to be a mommy. You said that an agency has already approved you for adoption. You said that you can't imagine putting yourself back on meds and feeling miserable.
Unless this is a really flakey agency (have you any reason to believe that they are?) their approval of your homestudy is a virtual guarantee that they will work to make you a mommy. You can call them and ask them to reassure you about this by asking a few questions... Do they make the match or do birthparents choose you? If the latter, is there anything about your profile that would lead them to believe that you might not get picked? How long does
the waiting take, on average? Do they have any approved families who have been waiting but unpicked for longer than two years? If their answers are what I expect they will be, you're on your way to parenthood!
So why go back for a medical evaluation now if parenthood by adoption is close at hand? Later, when you are thinking about a second child, you can reconsider a lot of things... has adoption gotten any harder? has treatment for your problem been improved? is experiencing pregnancy and birth important enough to risk a loss again?
I'd say that you've already made your decision in your heart, and you're just asking me to read your decision and state it back to you: Throw yourself into adoption and become a mother to your first child!!
Drop me a note when your baby arrives!
Pat
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